Chaos with the SWA
by TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds
Summary: Sexy photobooks send Isane and Kushira on the run. Jushiro is an amused bystander who doesn't lie...exactly. Sui-Feng is confused. "I said I hadn't seen them, which is true. I didn't see where they were hiding." Stupid, cracky, drabble-esque. Came to me in the shower. Pointless hopefully funny


Captain Jushiro Ukitake was calmly doing his paperwork when the door to his office flew open.

"Hey Juu," Kushira said, smiling tersely, "mind if we hide out here for a bit?" Jushiro glanced between her and Isane Kotetsu, both women were breathing heavily and looking very harried.

"Certainly," he asked, tilting his head, "might I enquire as to what you're hiding from?"

"The Shinigami Women's Association has decided to sell sexy themed photo books of the high-ranking female Shinigami..." Kushira explained while Isane tried to catch her breath.

"They already got Nanao," the tall woman squeaked out, "now we're on the run..."

Jushiro looked at them in amusement, "I'm sorry," he said sincerely, "that sounds incredibly awkward. Stay as long as you need"

Kushira brightened, "thanks Juu," Isane inclined her head.

"You are too kind Captain Ukitake," she said. He waved his hand airily.

"And who's idea was this?" he asked in amusement.

Kushira gave him a look. "You seriously have to ask?" she snorted, "Rangiku selected several women to be in it...Retsu declined and no one is going to argue with her, Rukia couldn't because it would bring shame to the Kuchiki clan...Yachiru wanted a cutesy candy-themed one which was okay and gods, they even coerced Nanao into doing one"

Jushiro widened his eyes, "Nanao as in Lieutenant Ise? They convinced Lieutenant Nanao Ise to do a sexy photo book?" Kushira nodded and Jushiro shook his head, "Shun's gonna be over the moon"

"No kidding...so anyway, Isane and I declined, but Rangiku wouldn't take no for an answer and now we are being pursued by almost the entirety of the SWA"

Isane shuddered, "they wanted me to do a 'sexy nurse' theme," she winced. Kushira patted her on the back.

"At least yours involved clothes," she commiserated, "mine was going to be flower-themed," she made a face. Jushiro fought down a chuckle.

"They've decided on themes?"

Kushira blanched, "oh gods yes...Rangiku is going to be beach-themed, Nanao is going to be the naughty librarian slash teacher, Yachiru is candy-themed, last I heard Kiyone was going to be..."

"Kiyone is going to be butterfly themed," Isane shook her head, "I can't believe my sister would be okay with this"

"You recall the reason she gave right?" Kushira bit back a smirk and Isane nodded dejectedly, mumbling something about obsessing over one's captain to an extreme. Suddenly the redhead tensed, "they're here," she gasped.

"How did they find us?" Isane wailed. Kushira covered her mouth and looked around frantically. She spotted a closet and practically shoved Isane towards it, "don't tell them we're here!" she hissed to Jushiro who chuckled and looked away as they climbed in. If he didn't see where they were hiding he could truthfully say he hasn't seen them, because he really hated lying.

Suddenly Rangiku, Sui-Feng, Nanao and Nemu appeared in the office. "Hello ladies," Jushiro said, feigning surprise, "how can I help you?"

"We received word that two fugitives were seen heading into your office Ukitake," Sui-Feng said, "we have come to retrieve them"

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," he frowned slightly, "I haven't seen any fugitives," his green eyes were so genuinely filled with confusion that Sui-Feng hesitated.

"Aww Captain Sui-Feng," Rangiku whined, "I think that guy was just messing with us...they're probably hiding in the Ninth Division cause they think it would have been the first place we'd look"

Sui-Feng regarded Jushiro suspiciously. He merely smiled warmly, "let's go," she said, gesturing to the other women.

"Sorry for wasting your time captain," Nanao bowed before following the other women out. Jushiro bit back another chuckle. The closet door slowly opened and the two 'fugitives' crept out.

"Thanks Juu," Kushira placed a kiss on his cheek, "I owe you one"

"Hah! Knew they were here!" Isane shrieked, Kushira cursed and shoved Isane out the window. As the women gave chase, Sui-Feng leveled Jushiro with a stare, "I wouldn't have thought you of all people would lie Ukitake"

"Ah Captain Sui-Feng," he smiled warmly, "I said I hadn't seen them, which is true. I didn't see where they were hiding. If you had asked if they were in the building I would have said yes because I don't lie," his green eyes were so kind that Sui-Feng was momentarily disarmed. Grumbling about semantics and cleverly disguised words, she followed the other women leaving Jushiro laughing to himself.

... ... ...

The photo books were published the next week with a special bondage double feature starring naughty nurse Lieutenant Isane Kotetsu and Captain Kushira Hikamara in a bed of roses and cherry blossoms.

... ... ...

Jushiro's laughter could be heard through Seireitei.


End file.
